Hello hello. Guess what? Another post about me complaining. Exciting huh! Well, this time is not so different from the last time I complained but the topic is a little weird. I'm sorry if there's anyone reading my posts secretly and got bored of all the negativity I'm sending. My life is clearly full of idiots.
Obviously, it's pretty important to be nice with people whether you know them or not, whether they're nice to you or not. At least that what my mother taught me! But recently I've got some complaining about being "too nice" or "too polite" with people! Apparently, its trendy to be rude and unfortunately I didn't know that. One of my friends told me once that she really hates it when I'm being polite to her. She hates my good morning/good night texts. She hates how's your day going texts and all that kind of texts! She told me to stop being too nice because that was killing her. That was a little offensive but don't worry I didn't take it. I thought .maybe she's on her period or something
I was extremely nice to her because that is what my mom taught me to be (I didn't say that to her though). The thing is, I'm trying to be very nice with people not because I'm desperate for them to like me or I'm so in love with them but because I hate it when people be so rude to me sometimes. I'm nice with them because this is the way I want them to treat me. Can't you get that? It's pretty simple, I'm good with you which means there will be no reason for you to be rude with me unless you're a bully or something. Not to mention those who actually take my compliments literally and start being cocky for some weird reason.
I just can't get it, why can't they just be nice for a change? We only live ONE LIFE. Is it that hard for them to accept the good in people and try to ignore or change (if it's possible) the bad in them? Does what they do or say really matter after they all pass away? All what we're going to leave behind us is nothing but memories, the good and the bad ones. Don't be a bully or a jerk unless you want to be remembered this way. Be polite and kind to everybody it's really not gonna coast you a thing.
I wish if they could understand that I want nothing to do with them by being too nice. All what I really want is to be remembered by everybody with good things. I want to wipe their tears and to make them smile, that would make me feel amazing. I want them to be inspired by me to do good things and to feel comfortable with me. I want my friends to stop worrying about the world and to complain to me about what made them cry the other night or how much pressure they've been taken lately. I want to be that kind of person. Everyone needs to know their value and I'm willing to tell them how much I appreciate their existence in my life. I'm willing to remind them how much I love them every morning and every night. I only have this life and after I die no one would send them that long messages on behave of me to remind them how much I loved them and cared about them.
Apparently some of them used to hate it, I'm not actually sure whether they hate that kind of texts or they just didn't want them to be sent by me. Either way, it's really hard to be refused, dumbed or judged for nothing but being extra nice. I feel like I'm running out of options here, I'm sick of trying my best to be good with everybody equally and being judged for that too. It feels like they have nothing else to do but judge me and complain about whatever I'm doing. Should I stop being nice to them or should I cut them out of my life?
Seriously, why always people find something to hate, judge or complain about me? Am I that bad? What have I done to them to make them say nasty things about me? What made them think that I hate for them to have a good life or to be happy? I wish if I could know. I seriously have no idea why am I stuck in that dark spot of people hate. Give me a chance to show you how good I am without judging me in the middle of it. Give me a way out and I promise, you won't regret it. Give me some credit for being nothing but nice to you although you hate it. I'm sick of cutting people out of my life. I used to have lots of friends and now I'm left with few of them I hope they last forever..
And you know what kills me the most is that they all know it deep down that I won't do a thing to hurt them. they all know that I wish them nothing but all the happiness in the world. I'm 100% sure they know how much I loved them, respected them and cared about them.
All of a sudden I feel like I'm trapped in the middle of nowhere waiting for that day when I finally leave all of this behind. Maybe I should've ended my toxic relationships with them before it got into me. I feel like I'm letting them take the best out of me and I'm seriously thinking to stop fixing what's already broken. I'll definitely try to stop being friends with anyone doesn't appreciate me enough.